Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Knowledge is dead ?

Knowledge made redundant !
Is it the death of knowledge ?
Has the advent of Internet and Google sounded the deathknell for attaining knowledge..Has the need to assimilate facts and data been decimated by the 'on demand ' nature of Internet .
If you remember 'The Matrix' ,the character of Trinity downloads the construct for flying a military chopper ..Is this the future ?
The human brain has an enormous untapped capacity to hold and process data ....but wht it lacks is a decent command and control structure.You dont exactly remember whatever you want to.,,and even if u do fails you at the most crucial time :( ..
Internet is somethin similar in structure hundereds of thousands of server holding terabytes of data...and uske paas GOOGLE hai !!
The question is 'whether we need to store all that information in our brains ,especially when we are kinda lousy at it '?What is the way ahead for learning and cognition ?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Love and Makin it

A thread on an Orkut forum has prompted me write this post on ..ahem 'pre marital sex'..So here is my take on it..

Sex a biological need of the body.It is as basic as eating ,drinking or even breathing.It is certainly not unique to the human kingdom but extends well into the domain of every living object..The need to propagate our seed is a prerequisite for the survival of any species ...
However like most other things we attach a lot of tamashaa to the whole act ..Humans have evolved from their hunting n gathering days to their modern day buy and store stock up avtaar.
But I have reasons to believe that we are embarassed about our animal origins.We try and break away from any ritual or habit that may highlight our 'ANIMAL ORIGINS..'
ALAS this is always going to be futile ,since the basic needs are always going to be the same ...So somewhere our embarassed ancestors devised a plan to carve a distinct identity for our race.....just look at it ...something as basic as food for instance.... The purpose of food remains to provide energy to the body for its functions .It is simply a fuel...Again we share this trait with the rest of the aniumal guess what ..we made cuisines course meals ...appetisers , desserts, la carte what not.... and even more ..u have a dozen types of forks ,knives, spoons ,spatulas ..just to shove it down your throat..
What we have done is to mask our common traits with the animals under layers of sophistication in a vain pursuit to prove our uniqueness and superiority ..

Coming back to the orignal topic all honesty ,we are embarssed about our is always a taboo.. An animal trait .....And a closer look shows that just like other things marriage was invented so cover up our discomfort over an animal instict and prove our superiority...
What happens when you see a beautiful member of the opposite sex??
if nothing happens..see a doctor !!
The fact is ...the moment we lay our eyes on them ,subconsciously we size them up as potential mates...this is not something we make an effort for...its just that our brains r wired that way ...since times immemorial the male was the provider and the female reared his children...Then the men used to seek big Bre@$+s and broad hips considering the females child bearing capacities...He used to provide for the woman simply becuse she was having his baby..From her end ..the female used to seek the healthiest/strongest mate who could provide her with food and security and whose offspring would have greatest chance of survival...
Often prospective mates fought and killed each other over her... since spelling bee hadnt been invented yet..and the winner got her (womb) to propagate his seed !! (We still see this behaviour amongst higher apes.)
Even today this mating ritual presents itself in the form of courtship ,serenading ,wooing ..whteva u call it ..
It just so happens that one doesnt need to be big and strong to survive in todays world ,a healthy bank balance would do ...thank you :) which euphimistically put translates into well settled ..
As for the males..they still check out cleavage the and the rear of anything moving in a skirt..Pervertish it may sound...but cant argue with biology there...
Now let us consider the fact that men can sire dozens of babies simultaneously but females can have only one man's child at any given time..So men have a great incentive for promicusity(the purpose was to spread ones seed all over )....Women were in a disadvantageous postion since there would be no gurantee that the male would take care of her once he impregnated other women (no wonder why women are so susceptible to jealousy and suspicion...cnt argue with biology here 2 ;)) ..So MARRIAGE was invented ( i guess by women only as an insurance policy )...
Times have changed ...Humans are not fighting to men are content with one female (hopefully) in our overpopulated times..Women have become financially independent ..they dont need men to provide for them anymore...but just as some1 they can nag n pester :(

FYI humans and dolphins are the only creatures who have sex for pleasure

....It just so happens that a sexual intercourse bathes the brain a heady cocktail of hormones and other chemicals creating pleasureable females it gives rise to strong maternal instincts ( well the original purpose was to become a mommy only ) so they feel so much attachment after doin it ..As for love...its not connected with sex in any manner ...Cmon..Love is a different road altogether ....MAKING LOVE is a politically correct way of calling an indulgence in pleasure ( hormones baby !!)..
To put it simply ..You are having a burger and u let ur friend have a bite ..u wont think twice abt it...but imagine giving a bite to a stranger ...It doesnt matter both would drip thr saliva on to it....but you wont let the stranger have it......same with sex....u r vulnerable and share those moments of vulnerability with some1 whom u trust and care for ..even though the tools involved and the end result is going to be the same with the stranger..Its just that you would be more comfortable that way ..
People who quote the Bible against premarital sex....FYI bible says 'KNOWING ' is to be indulged in only to make if u had ur share of kids..STOP or else ul end up in Hell...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Incidental Leader


I read somewhere that Leaders are either born or hired .True it may sound ,however I would choose to disagree .

There is a saying that some are born great ,others have greatness thrust upon them.Same holds true for leadership.
Some of us are descendants of the orignal Alpha Male and have leadership traits geneticaly jackhammered in our DNA ...These people are BORN TO LEAD..(sidestepping the nature vs nurture debate)...charishma flows as freely as filth in Yamuna .People gravitate towards them as easily as ur mom/bhabhi would towards a saas bahooooo weepie .Their ascend to leadership roles is natural as a Bihari MP becoming the Railways Minister .Their activities make case study at HBS and are seen sharing the dais with glamour and royalty ....

And some of us have leadership (roles )thrust upon us as a result of ...donkeys years with an organization/bosses qutting/marrying the chairman's only daughter /baba blaaksheepz tilasmi taweez /washing our shirt with Rin Supreme /Wearing XYZ underwear/Martian Invasions /blah blah....The point is ...the gauntlet has been thrown...Now what ??

In the coming posts I would like to discuss the strategy for the Incidental leader ..

Monday, March 13, 2006


This is hilarious!


One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.


One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna


One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.


One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = Oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya

One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = riot


One Gujju = a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.


One Andhraite = chilli farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.


One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara


One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train
at rush hour


One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.


One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten other trading communities

Milk of Human Kindness

One of the most touching stories I've read...
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case. After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as She read these words.....

. "Paid in full with one glass of milk."
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

Friday, March 10, 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Read n Learn

Essential quality for becoming an achiever ??

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said:
"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Kenny said: "OK then, just
unload the donkey." The farmer asked: "What are you going to do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by
lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month
later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and
made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron :) wonder

Monday, March 06, 2006

Walking the line

Today had all the symptoms of being just another day...woke up at 11 ...had 3 allu ka parathas...surfed the net ...watched sum 'wraaslin'... (FYI Kurt Angle defeated the Undertaker to retain his belt)...slept...woke up at 5 n had Maggi..n thought bout goin out....
Fixd up a meet wid a pal n pickd him up frm home...decd 2 check out pvr spice in was incidental....calld up an ex classmate ovr 2 join saw him aftr almst 2 yrs..
The place is a decent joint ...parkin is mehnga at 20 bucks in the basement :(
So there we are ...3 of us..smiling at each othr n droolin at the babes ..
catchin up....n gawking at the occasional hottie mostly with a bespectacled nerd (the geek shall inherit the earth.seems much more plausible when i see the hoors with the langoors ).......nehows v decided tht the 8'o clock show wud b just fine...the movie is 'Walk the line'...
So I pop the cherry of my new HSBC cc...375 bucks....n thr v r on 2 the 5 th floor..
we enter the hall no 5
...n itz all empty...n voila catch Zaded khan serenading Ash in 'Shabd"(whoa....time warp ??) hez singin khoya.. khoya sa (ppl mite argue Nathu sweets lost a chance 2 position thr brand in the Khoya Khoya saa...but one should consider tht it would have been a wasteful expenditure considering how many ppl actually saw the movie ) could the commit the crime of showin ''Shabd "on the big screen..again...??
Thinking it was some old promo v take our seats ..but it seems one long clip...
Suddenly v realize that we r not alone....................thrz a gentle tap on the shoulder..."Sirr. ur in the wrong hall "says the usher....(goddamn multiplexes) v rush to hall no 7 across the floor..
Mercifully the movie hasn't started yet v take the opportunity 2 survey any hot chicks in our periphary ...finding none(as usual) v decide 2 focus on the movie..the credits roll by........
'seems nice...2 young kids ...big brother dotin ovr the baby Johhny Cash...thn suddenly his brother gets killed after an accident in the sawmill..'......''''looooose control"''''' blares the cellphn of the sardarji sittin behind me...

The movie takes us throgh the rise and fall and rise of Johnny Cash ..From being a 2 bit gospel singer 2 being a country legend...his Rock Star Lifeishtyle....the buses ,the booze the babes n the barbiturates...

Overall its nice movie...its a Oscar nominee 4 satanz sake ...performances are real good..I liked the babe who played Cash's wife...(her doll face reminded me of my swthrt Charlize Theron)....n i wud have jumped at the job she said her daddy was offering 2 Johnny...if I were with her(especially when u read this post..)..Alas it seems other words its tiresome...perhaps v should have watched Taxi no 9211...considerin our light mood...
Overall I would say it was fair to Johnny didnt demonise him nor canonise showed him for the human he was..frailities n all..and that may not cut much with the desi audience ...who expects the protagnist 2 b a rebel with a cause always..

Better effort than a Beautiful Mind in terms of honesty ... but again had a documentaryish feel to it...And if u do get that giddy feeling in the tummy as it me....its not the movie... but the tortillas.....feel free 2 check out the loo..its not that bad either

Friday, March 03, 2006


  • My inputs are as welcome as a butter chicken this season .
  • My abilities are as utilized as much as the Nizammudin Pedestrian Subway.
  • Company Policies are as consistent as Laxman's place in the team.
  • Dada n Chapell have better relations than myself and the client.
  • I am underpaid to the extent that the ATM spews candy when I try to withdraw my salary
  • My relatives think I work as a volunteer in a charitable organization.
  • I feel as utilized as Mallika Sherawat in a burkha .
  • I feel like a Porche which is driven only to buy vegetables from the colony mkt.
  • My chances of growth are as realistic as Anupam Kher doing a shampoo commercial.
Do I change my job ??

Thursday, March 02, 2006

History in the Making

Have you ever wondered about history ? No I don't mean that of the babe you have been eyeing for so long ..neither I want you to wonder why did you ever have to study it throught school ...My intention is to evoke a moments thought on....but what is it.....actually...??
One may define it as a chronology of events as occured in various instances of time ...
but have you ever wondered ...Is it true ? Have you ever thought ...Did that actually happen ?
...I read a beautiful line somewhere ...'that history is the winner's version of events and truths!'
And in my opinion ...this may be the real truth..
Let us consider the history of history...Writing as a system of recording information began only in 3500 B.C. using pictographs....Before that it was more or less an oral tradition .Knowdlege and wisdom used to passed down over generations using fables ,poems ,folk -songs etc which spoke of the deeds and bravery of the ancestors and kings etc .....but wait...who wrote those songs ??...Try and sing a song telling the story of the Emperor who wet his pants on hearing his elephant fart ...I don't think that bard would have a bright future anywhere...So it had to be how the Emperor slayed the mighty dragon with his bare soon on...This bard would travel to distant villages and tell the people the songs of his alleged courage....and a hero would be born...

And God spoke.....

......Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.
Harry: Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer.
Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.

Ron: They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window.
Mrs. Weasley: You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley.

Draco Malfoy: Why are you wearing glasses?
Harry: [disguised as Goyle] Uhh... Reading.
Draco Malfoy: Reading? I didn't know you could read.

Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

sounds familiar.....well for the uninitiatated ,these lines have been taken from Harry Potter...boy wizard and goldmine for the concerned stakeholders......

Now let me think ...
Did God FedEx a copy of the 10 commandmants to Moses ?
Did God issue anyone an autographed copy of the Bible ?Infact who wrote it in the first place ?
Did Amnesty International protest against crucifixation of Christ ?

yet we believe beyond grave in their story and revere them beyond life..but can anyone ever authenticate the writings.

I wonder if there is a global catastrophe and much of the planet is wiped out ...maybe after a thousand years they would excavate and find a copy of 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince '

They would translate it somehow...'hey sounds like a scripture'.and eventually conclude Harry Potter is God !

I am not questioning the truthfullness or orignality of any text ..of any religion ...They all preach wonderful messages of humanity ...but I do wonder at times...have the gods and godesses who were invented as metaphors to convey images of goodness ,purity and truth overwhelmed the true message that was to be conveyed ??
Have we forgotten the message and embraced the messenger..

The Dutch cartoon row has opened my eyes to a sad reality ..Religion.. which is suppose to guide us..has blinded us beyond relief ..

If you want to know what God thinks about all it is

"Religion is not God ...its just a road..and like all roads ,it has to be travelled on to reach your blood of your brother you so readily draw in my name of my own heart...Every drop you fell is milked through me...its my blood under your feet and on your hands...and every act of kindness plants a rose petal under your step and his...."