Saturday, October 21, 2006

Cold Water

It's been many moons since i posted anything...anything..yes I have been busy...settling into a new job, coping with the same clients, adjusting to bigger office, gorging on iced tea. I have indeed been tied up with stuff, but lazy is the more appropriate term.
I have almost made my mind NOT to go for an MBA .Despite constant encouragement from friends, promises of a better lifestyle and fatter paychecks, I find myself unwilling to subject myself a year of intellectual subservience.

The biggest question is why should i go for a MBA ?
More money would be good, especially when I am only making half of what my batchmates from Engineering are making. But how many of them actually get the same degree of happiness writing code that i derive from my work. How many do actually look forward to begin the next day, so that they can hang around their boss and colleagues.
How many of them can actually stand up to their boss and say that you have a better way and not get your balls frozen with an icy stare?
I already know quite a few of them are disillusioned with their lives, their jobs and their cubicles.
Ask them what they would rather be doing and you would get everything except writing code. And to think I am doing most of the things those people only dream of.
So its established I would not be in an S/W company anytime soon.
Now why not an MBA ?
After all its the big ticket to a jet seeting career. Your stock goes up quite a few notches in the biradri. You are eyed as a prized catch for daughters at every marriage or funeral.Your example is cited to inspire young kids.
The most honest reason for not doing an MBA is ...well ..i don't have ANY reason to go for an MBA. I would safely assume that the big money one gets paid is a compensation for the drain it makes on your life. I am at ease not making a stockpile of moolah and retaining a life. Having said that I still nurture hopes of Plan B..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

ISB Admission Blues

Its been quite a while since i posted something real..(wrestling matches don't qualify as real.. they are surreal :))
The fact is I have been busier than a bunny on heat ... Work ,it seems has drained out every iota of even the negligible potential I had for having a social life. Knowing just two people ,both male and IT geeks doesn't give any sheen to my plumes either.
So strangely enough I find my self in office way before the timing,courtsey '
unfinished business' . This gives me just enough time to actually ponder over the dilemma I have been facing for quites some time.
For those who frequent my blog, or have any semblence of intellegence, my ISB aspirtaions would be pretty obvious . Hell ,I have even classified my blogroll as per ISB batches :)
Now the fact is that ISB is the only B school I want to be a part of. I was very much aware of its existence, but Ankur's admit got me real keen on it .
I registered on the website last year and finished writing some kickass essays. Was supposed to appear for GMAT and complete my application. Sadly two days before my appointment, there was a bereavment in the family, which made me forfeit my appearence ( $ 250 down the pot :( ).
Anyhows, that period gave me some time to introspect a lot of things, especially the essay which asked me to sum up my career progression till date and my post ISB plans.
Further thought made me realize that my reasons for MBA were not good enough, even though my profile had a certain novelty and I could bullshit my way through the interviews ( hell I am a Trainer, I can hustle my way through Abu Gharib).
What I realized that I wanted the MBA in the same manner a dog wants a lamp post ...or a car tyre .(gives him an aim in life :p what else).. My career has been nomadic so far, from Public Relations to BPO operations to Training & Development. So summarizing it one one word would be ' bhelpuri '
If someone asked me the 'unifying theme' of my career choices, I would yap about fractal theory ( Yaa baby ...I can throw hi sounding names too..whtevr fractals mean,look up in wiki ). And my post MBA aspirations were ....getting a hot shot consultant profile at Mc Kinseys or BCG or Booz Allen or EDA or..... with a watermelonish salary and a jet setting lifestyle ...Me lookin out from the window (at the raindrops hitting the glass ) of my 57th floor penthouse in upper Manhattan and brooding about my lonliness ;)...(november rain playin in the background for extra effect)

Of course there is the desire to create an impact in business on a global scale utilizing the refined skills that would be developed and
and opportunities that would be provided at ISB ;)....but me steppin out in my Armani's frm my Humvy creates a even bigger impact ...

Admissions for class of '08 ' have commenced at ISB. If last year's essays seemed out of a beauty pageant, this year they are straight out of 'The Apprentice' . Ordinarily those questions would be asked in a face to face interview, but the adcom seems to have other ideas.

Anyhows , its that time of the year again. I have another year of ' consequential work experience' in my kitty. Acquired newer skills and a bigger paunch :(

As a part time superspy and full time undercover superhero I follow the James Bond funda

1. Always locate exit route first
2. Have a plan B
3. Sleep with a gun under your pillow
4. Never fall in love....

sadly ..I broke the last commandment (even the 3rd one , but that is irrelevent )..

Yes sir , I fell in love....with my job ...
Despite the hectic load, impossible deadlines, maniacal clients and a janitor'a salary.

I enjoy the learning, the pressure, the responsibility, the challenges and the people and the travel.

Coming back to the point of admission, all this has given me the admission blues again. Do I really want to commit another year studying (something I am not to fond off :( ) or do I continue to do what I do best .

A lot of tangibles and intangibles have sprung up in last few weeks. These have a heavy bearing on my decision making process. The major area of concern would be my financial responsibilities towards my family. The way property prices are moving, I would be able to afford a barsati somewhere in Ramgarh in the next 20 years or so.

I do secretly hope some super rich and gainfully employed babe falls for my clumsy n rusty and different charms,(Charlize Theron or Angelina Jolie lookalike would be even better ) and it will be 'Happily ever after '

On more serious lines, I know that an MBA would definately help my career prospects both monetarily and stature wise, provide me with a bigger platform to showcase my abilities, challenges to fulfil my potential and lastly the material resources I so desire, but do I want to let go of the work and people I hold so dear. Even worse, studying Math ( poorly disguised under the name Quant ) which comes under the category of classified Japanese tortures during World War II in my encyclopedia .

I would believe that the answer would be clear by the end of this month.
Opinions on the same would be welcome ..

Monday, June 19, 2006

Being a twenty-something

Came across this intresting fwd ...actually makes some sense :)

Being a twenty-something

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at wat ur studyin or ur job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone! but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you are scared just to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Its called "Quarter-life Crisis." nothing is constant......except change.
Wats life without a few risks? keep playing the game..

Friday, May 12, 2006


More than two weeks have since I took my current responsibilities .The first task given to me was to create a training module for IOCL pump attendants .The scope of the project seems big considering that in addition to the bread and butter PPT's we also shot a video.

For a change I was imparted a real responsibility .Shot some photographs of the process for making the posters and the slides.

I hadn't realized it so far but after a gentle reminder from my boss , it came to my knowledge that I could claim some expertise on "Petrol Pump Operations", having slogged my posterior for a better part of the last financial year(weird coincidence) at unheard of places in desolate corners of N. India for Reliance. Perhaps my ahem..loyal and persistent readers have an idea of my escapades as documented in my earlier posts.

So one fine evening took Kiran to the designated outlet and got some pictures clicked.Without adieu,a dispenser was hijacked for the purpose and by the end of it ,we had something to show.The weird part was bumping into the guy who had interviewed me a week back and offered a job in his company and whose idea of a salary would't enthrall a bunny on heat. He was conducting a program there,so luckily manage to get past him by just exchanging pleasantries.

Strangely my boss enquired about that chap being present their.Apparently
that gentleman leads one of our key competitiors with this particular client.I couldnt resist boasting about him giving me a job offer and my rejecting it.The resulting cold glare from boss will insure that I do keep my big mouth shut from now on about such matters .

Anyhows got down to work on the posters and got them printed them the next day.Felt real proud when I saw the results ,coz I WAS ON EVERY FRIGGIN POSTER :) (well I supz thatz the least I could do,especially when I AM DESIGNING it :))
Later the news andthe responsibility of the video shoot was passed on to me.This resulted in my spending two sleepless nights at a Petrol Pump (deja Vu..huh)..drifted between multiple degrees of consciousness to the shouts of silence and action !!

This along with the combined disappointment and the boos of the junta who had apparently gathered to catch a glimpse of the STARS .

The next day had to leave for Paresh and JK's wedding at Mathura .Packed off with two pals from college in my trusted (????) , freshly dented (my evidence for females can't drive), fuel pump re-calibrated (they screwed up the first time round) and teflon coated gleaming BLACK Indica.( trust me when I say that black is not 'in' this summer).
Passed by our dear college on the highway. It was so friggin hot that we had to abort our original kamikaze assault (with fluid bodily excretions) on the college compound for all the sufferings it had bestowed upon us.

But a last minute brainwave ensured that we did give the one fingered (u knw which one) salute.Woefully eyeing the next line of hapless and unsuspecting Engineers, gathered on a hot saturday afternoon at the gates of ' abbatoir of Modern India' , fresh from duly completing (read copying) their project files for the ensuing end semester viva ( The one friggin day of the semester when the faculty is on its worst diabetes inducing behaviour,not to mention the endless plates of kaju barfi ,pepsi's and what not ) ... we moved on

Will post about the Mathura Trip alng with some pictures(hopefully) in next part .

ps Your's truly made his on screen debut in the training video,albeit a fleeting apperance as an irate customer ;)

Monday, May 01, 2006

New Role

The last two weeks have been the most hectic and rewarding professionally in recent memory.Your's truly has since then moved from his earlier project and profile of a Trainer into a new domain of Content Development.
In some ways it is a full circle for me in the company.When I had originally applied here , it was for a similar profile but invariably landed in an operational rollout .
For some strange reason whosoever had shortlisted me in the interview ,resigned in the coming days.This ensued that I ended up hung in suspended animation while my savings bled.
One fine day a new opening was advertised by my employer and I jumped at the chance. Within three days we were packed off to Mumbai and put up in a decent hotel near Worli Seaface.
Call it my luck that fifteen days into the training I recieve a call from my office that the decks for my joining the Content team have been cleared and I am supposed to report by next week.
Suddenly the realization dawns upo them that I am already a part of a different project and the offer is hastily withdrawn ;)

Anyhows ,had a good time in Mumbai, saw why it is better than Delhi on many fronts and where it sucks..saw ShahRukh Khan's bunglow on Bandstand and had pao bhaji at juhu chowapatty( highly overrated I might add) .I did get to know that most of the vendors there were from Agra/Mathura.Having been subjected to the mentioned places for all four years of my Engineering ,I did feel a fraternal bond with them.A mild chitchat laced with the Mathuraisqe dialect of Hindi (sample :kaa haigo lala ?) ensured that I got a complimentary Pao and some extra bhaji..
Well that all fond memories and the subsequent travails have been documented in my blog...

More will follow..

Monday, April 24, 2006

And it gets better !!

Apparently the government tax collections have fallen short of the projections. According to my secret sources the PM and the FM had a top secret meeting at a top secret place. A top secret decision was taken to explore alternate avenues for garnering revenues so as to offset the setback.
After severe brainstorming, the South Block whiz kids came up with an incredible plan to generate funds. The proposal was secretly given the go ahead after extensive secret consultation with 10 Jan path and addition of a social consequence to its KRA apart from the revenue...

I have just come to know about the grand designs through my intelligence sources .The government is planning to enter the ..Hold your breath...' The Television Software Industry '...Well not enter as per se; since they already have had a presence in the form of Doordarshan since yore and also extensive experience in dishing out operas known as News in the pre satellite TV.

A study was commissioned to identify the target group for this endeavor. The 18-30 year group was identified as the primary target audience as the housewife category was already saturated with the Saas Bahu and Saajishes. Moreover since Indian Idol -2 was coming to an end ,it freed the segment from virtually any competition.

Once the audience was identified, the next task was to assign a certain structure to the programming .Considering the success of 'reality shows' a script was mooted on on the lines of Zee TV's 'Business Baazigar' and the theme was identified as ‘reservations’ .This was apparently done to ensure maximum participation from the target audience as it directly impacts their life (which translates into revenues through sms’es @Rs 6 per sms +service tax @20 percent ) and sponsorships from ‘youth and lifestyle brands’.

A teaser was recently aired in the form of the recent recommendation for hiking the quota for OBC’s up to 49.5 percent in educational institutions .The second teaser came out in the form PM’s chinwag of reserving jobs in the private sector.

Now since the theme and the plot has been finalized the next step was to create a worthy jury. Arjun Singh’s name was thrown up since he looks the part of the premezolithic politician having the barren intellect to identify and nurture such repressive ideas. Moreover he could safely buffer any criticism on behalf of the government, since his political career is doing its swansong.

I am giving my loyal readers a head start in preparations of their recommendations. The formal call for entries might happen sooner than later and would be a good idea to share your reservation idea’s on this forum .

My idea is to start with the 'India Fashion Week ' ..50 % of the models should be from the reserved category.Since the models wear hardly anything on the ramp and the backward people remain semi naked due to cultural or economic reasons ,this would be a win-win situation.Wardrobe malfunctions ,if any could be intentionally carried out in the name of preserving the cultural heritage of 'Shallika Mherawat' tribe of N.India..

Monday, April 10, 2006

Is derecognition the way for IIT's and IIM's

A lot of printed space ,a lot of airtime and a whole lot of bytes have been devoted to criticize the Goverment for its decision to impose a fresh quota regime in central universities and the IIT's and IIM's .While the whole idea is unwelcome ,the inclusion of above mentioned instituions has further villified the decision makers in question.
The higher education system has universally been objurgated for its lack of quality and disconnect with real world .Employers have to invest massive amounts of money and resources to train these products of
IIT's and IIM's are the perhaps the only symbols of defiance of the monolithic cess pool that higher education in India is .Their reputation has been assidiously built over the decades ,churning out technocrats who have led world class organizations .What makes these institutions the very best is the quality of students that have walked in their hallowed portals.These have made the best of the country even better by providing a them with the resources ,the guidance,the platform and the atmosphere to excel.
Perhaps the government doesn't realize this fact and presumes these institutes have some sort of philosphers stone which is judiciously rubbed on the students so as to make them golden .
Mr.Arjun Singh in case you didn't know,the seed of a guava won't start producing grapes just because you plant it in a vineyard.
The only way to save these 'temples of modern India ' is to free them from the clutches of the government.
Time in and time out the government has thrown a spanner in the workings of these institutions,whether it be the decision to hike the fees or open international campuses .The government has ensured that it shows the adminstration of these institutions their place.
I wonder why the IIT's and IIM's do not pursue full blown autonomy .Surely they have the capability to run their business mighty well without the goverment's incessant interference .An infant needs to bottlefed and kept in a cradle ,not a mature adult.Shouldn't the government just let go and focus on providing primary and secondary education ?
I am sure that these institutions can survive without the grants the government
provides them with by hiking the fees and consulting charges.No matter how high the fees would be,soliciting loans would never be a problem.and with the kind of salaries their graduates command ,even the repayment is not an issue.
FYI ISB (Indian School of Business ,Hyderabad) which was recently in the news for President Bush's visit to its campus and the crore plus salaries is not recognized by the UGC or AICTE or xyz .It is hardly a five year old institution and has captured the imagination of the public and the corporates alike .Non affiliation and non recognition has actually ensured that the goverment has no business in its affairs,whether it be imposition of quotas or hiking of fees.
Should't the IIT's and IIM's be following an identical model,with nearly four decades of credibility in their favor??

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Kingdom of Heaven ??

The emancipation of Judas Iscariot has finally happened following some work by Nat Geo who have shone The Gospel of Judas in fresh light.
I have previously commented on the evolution of religion and recorded history .

The sad thing about modern religion is that instead of discovering it ,we accept whatever faith we are born into.
As the Oracle says to Neo in the Matrix 'We cannot se beyond the choices we fail to understand'!!
Most people are passive as far as religion goes ,especialy Hindus .We accept whatever is conveyed in the scriptures without flinching .any question or argument is frowned upon.
Even in Christianity what goes in the name of the Bible today is the King James version.It is a mere translation and would not be fair to treat it with an element of skeptism .
Few years ago some scrolls were discovered in caves near the Dead Sea called
'Nag Hammadi ' .Researchers claimed them to be the closest ever to the time of Jesus and perhaps the only one in his own words. (The rest of the gospels were written as 4 th ir 5 th hand versions ,centuries after the life and times of Jesus).Translated it says' The Kingdom of God is within you and it surrounds you and God does not live in temples of wood and stone.'

Imagine how this revelation would dismantle the whole Roman Catholic Church because it eliminates the need for a human organization to run the Church of Jesus Christ.Understandably the Vatican disowns it,calling it heresy.And they have their obvious reasons for doing so .Here we are talking about an institution that has outlived any empire in the history of civilization. It has lasted three times longer than the Roman Empire, twice as long as the longest Chinese dynasty.And this has more to do with the survival instincts rather than will of god.

The past has been mired in bloodshed and supression of facts .Those of us who are into this 'Stuff' would know what happened to the 'Kinghts Templars' courtsey Pope Clement

Recently Dan Brown came out with Da Vinci Code which amongst other things was based on the Gospel of Mary Magadaline(Another document which makes the Vatican see red).The writer covered his behind by taking a non commital climax in the story which ensured that the book did not face any resistence from the Clergy.

Closer home in India ,the Kanchi Seer (Pope of Hindusim for the uninitiated ) was mired in a murder and moolah controversy .
History has shown that such organations have flourished because of of the herd like mentality of the masses .Any attempts at protest have been doused with charges of heresy or chopping of necks. Socrates was made to drink hemlock,Galelio was arrested ...and well .... even Jesus was crucified !!
Times have changed ,people have not ,a Satanic Verses still evokes 'down with his head !!..
Maybe one day Humanity will make its peace...Maybe one day..just maybe

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Fascinating reading

In the mind of the brain

A conversation with Professor V.S. Ramachandran, world-renowned explorer of the human brain, on neuroscience, philosophy, consciousness and beyond.
Fascinating reading

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Knowledge is dead ?

Knowledge made redundant !
Is it the death of knowledge ?
Has the advent of Internet and Google sounded the deathknell for attaining knowledge..Has the need to assimilate facts and data been decimated by the 'on demand ' nature of Internet .
If you remember 'The Matrix' ,the character of Trinity downloads the construct for flying a military chopper ..Is this the future ?
The human brain has an enormous untapped capacity to hold and process data ....but wht it lacks is a decent command and control structure.You dont exactly remember whatever you want to.,,and even if u do fails you at the most crucial time :( ..
Internet is somethin similar in structure hundereds of thousands of server holding terabytes of data...and uske paas GOOGLE hai !!
The question is 'whether we need to store all that information in our brains ,especially when we are kinda lousy at it '?What is the way ahead for learning and cognition ?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Love and Makin it

A thread on an Orkut forum has prompted me write this post on ..ahem 'pre marital sex'..So here is my take on it..

Sex a biological need of the body.It is as basic as eating ,drinking or even breathing.It is certainly not unique to the human kingdom but extends well into the domain of every living object..The need to propagate our seed is a prerequisite for the survival of any species ...
However like most other things we attach a lot of tamashaa to the whole act ..Humans have evolved from their hunting n gathering days to their modern day buy and store stock up avtaar.
But I have reasons to believe that we are embarassed about our animal origins.We try and break away from any ritual or habit that may highlight our 'ANIMAL ORIGINS..'
ALAS this is always going to be futile ,since the basic needs are always going to be the same ...So somewhere our embarassed ancestors devised a plan to carve a distinct identity for our race.....just look at it ...something as basic as food for instance.... The purpose of food remains to provide energy to the body for its functions .It is simply a fuel...Again we share this trait with the rest of the aniumal guess what ..we made cuisines course meals ...appetisers , desserts, la carte what not.... and even more ..u have a dozen types of forks ,knives, spoons ,spatulas ..just to shove it down your throat..
What we have done is to mask our common traits with the animals under layers of sophistication in a vain pursuit to prove our uniqueness and superiority ..

Coming back to the orignal topic all honesty ,we are embarssed about our is always a taboo.. An animal trait .....And a closer look shows that just like other things marriage was invented so cover up our discomfort over an animal instict and prove our superiority...
What happens when you see a beautiful member of the opposite sex??
if nothing happens..see a doctor !!
The fact is ...the moment we lay our eyes on them ,subconsciously we size them up as potential mates...this is not something we make an effort for...its just that our brains r wired that way ...since times immemorial the male was the provider and the female reared his children...Then the men used to seek big Bre@$+s and broad hips considering the females child bearing capacities...He used to provide for the woman simply becuse she was having his baby..From her end ..the female used to seek the healthiest/strongest mate who could provide her with food and security and whose offspring would have greatest chance of survival...
Often prospective mates fought and killed each other over her... since spelling bee hadnt been invented yet..and the winner got her (womb) to propagate his seed !! (We still see this behaviour amongst higher apes.)
Even today this mating ritual presents itself in the form of courtship ,serenading ,wooing ..whteva u call it ..
It just so happens that one doesnt need to be big and strong to survive in todays world ,a healthy bank balance would do ...thank you :) which euphimistically put translates into well settled ..
As for the males..they still check out cleavage the and the rear of anything moving in a skirt..Pervertish it may sound...but cant argue with biology there...
Now let us consider the fact that men can sire dozens of babies simultaneously but females can have only one man's child at any given time..So men have a great incentive for promicusity(the purpose was to spread ones seed all over )....Women were in a disadvantageous postion since there would be no gurantee that the male would take care of her once he impregnated other women (no wonder why women are so susceptible to jealousy and suspicion...cnt argue with biology here 2 ;)) ..So MARRIAGE was invented ( i guess by women only as an insurance policy )...
Times have changed ...Humans are not fighting to men are content with one female (hopefully) in our overpopulated times..Women have become financially independent ..they dont need men to provide for them anymore...but just as some1 they can nag n pester :(

FYI humans and dolphins are the only creatures who have sex for pleasure

....It just so happens that a sexual intercourse bathes the brain a heady cocktail of hormones and other chemicals creating pleasureable females it gives rise to strong maternal instincts ( well the original purpose was to become a mommy only ) so they feel so much attachment after doin it ..As for love...its not connected with sex in any manner ...Cmon..Love is a different road altogether ....MAKING LOVE is a politically correct way of calling an indulgence in pleasure ( hormones baby !!)..
To put it simply ..You are having a burger and u let ur friend have a bite ..u wont think twice abt it...but imagine giving a bite to a stranger ...It doesnt matter both would drip thr saliva on to it....but you wont let the stranger have it......same with sex....u r vulnerable and share those moments of vulnerability with some1 whom u trust and care for ..even though the tools involved and the end result is going to be the same with the stranger..Its just that you would be more comfortable that way ..
People who quote the Bible against premarital sex....FYI bible says 'KNOWING ' is to be indulged in only to make if u had ur share of kids..STOP or else ul end up in Hell...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Incidental Leader


I read somewhere that Leaders are either born or hired .True it may sound ,however I would choose to disagree .

There is a saying that some are born great ,others have greatness thrust upon them.Same holds true for leadership.
Some of us are descendants of the orignal Alpha Male and have leadership traits geneticaly jackhammered in our DNA ...These people are BORN TO LEAD..(sidestepping the nature vs nurture debate)...charishma flows as freely as filth in Yamuna .People gravitate towards them as easily as ur mom/bhabhi would towards a saas bahooooo weepie .Their ascend to leadership roles is natural as a Bihari MP becoming the Railways Minister .Their activities make case study at HBS and are seen sharing the dais with glamour and royalty ....

And some of us have leadership (roles )thrust upon us as a result of ...donkeys years with an organization/bosses qutting/marrying the chairman's only daughter /baba blaaksheepz tilasmi taweez /washing our shirt with Rin Supreme /Wearing XYZ underwear/Martian Invasions /blah blah....The point is ...the gauntlet has been thrown...Now what ??

In the coming posts I would like to discuss the strategy for the Incidental leader ..

Monday, March 13, 2006


This is hilarious!


One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.


One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna


One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.


One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = Oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya

One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = riot


One Gujju = a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.


One Andhraite = chilli farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey.
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.


One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara


One Bombayite = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Bombayites = film studio.
Three Bombayites = slum
Four Bombayites = the number of people standing on your foot in the train
at rush hour


One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.


One Marwari = the neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta.
Three Marwaris = finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = threaten other trading communities

Milk of Human Kindness

One of the most touching stories I've read...
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case. After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as She read these words.....

. "Paid in full with one glass of milk."
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

Friday, March 10, 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Read n Learn

Essential quality for becoming an achiever ??

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad
news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said:
"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Kenny said: "OK then, just
unload the donkey." The farmer asked: "What are you going to do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by
lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month
later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and
made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron :) wonder

Monday, March 06, 2006

Walking the line

Today had all the symptoms of being just another day...woke up at 11 ...had 3 allu ka parathas...surfed the net ...watched sum 'wraaslin'... (FYI Kurt Angle defeated the Undertaker to retain his belt)...slept...woke up at 5 n had Maggi..n thought bout goin out....
Fixd up a meet wid a pal n pickd him up frm home...decd 2 check out pvr spice in was incidental....calld up an ex classmate ovr 2 join saw him aftr almst 2 yrs..
The place is a decent joint ...parkin is mehnga at 20 bucks in the basement :(
So there we are ...3 of us..smiling at each othr n droolin at the babes ..
catchin up....n gawking at the occasional hottie mostly with a bespectacled nerd (the geek shall inherit the earth.seems much more plausible when i see the hoors with the langoors ).......nehows v decided tht the 8'o clock show wud b just fine...the movie is 'Walk the line'...
So I pop the cherry of my new HSBC cc...375 bucks....n thr v r on 2 the 5 th floor..
we enter the hall no 5
...n itz all empty...n voila catch Zaded khan serenading Ash in 'Shabd"(whoa....time warp ??) hez singin khoya.. khoya sa (ppl mite argue Nathu sweets lost a chance 2 position thr brand in the Khoya Khoya saa...but one should consider tht it would have been a wasteful expenditure considering how many ppl actually saw the movie ) could the commit the crime of showin ''Shabd "on the big screen..again...??
Thinking it was some old promo v take our seats ..but it seems one long clip...
Suddenly v realize that we r not alone....................thrz a gentle tap on the shoulder..."Sirr. ur in the wrong hall "says the usher....(goddamn multiplexes) v rush to hall no 7 across the floor..
Mercifully the movie hasn't started yet v take the opportunity 2 survey any hot chicks in our periphary ...finding none(as usual) v decide 2 focus on the movie..the credits roll by........
'seems nice...2 young kids ...big brother dotin ovr the baby Johhny Cash...thn suddenly his brother gets killed after an accident in the sawmill..'......''''looooose control"''''' blares the cellphn of the sardarji sittin behind me...

The movie takes us throgh the rise and fall and rise of Johnny Cash ..From being a 2 bit gospel singer 2 being a country legend...his Rock Star Lifeishtyle....the buses ,the booze the babes n the barbiturates...

Overall its nice movie...its a Oscar nominee 4 satanz sake ...performances are real good..I liked the babe who played Cash's wife...(her doll face reminded me of my swthrt Charlize Theron)....n i wud have jumped at the job she said her daddy was offering 2 Johnny...if I were with her(especially when u read this post..)..Alas it seems other words its tiresome...perhaps v should have watched Taxi no 9211...considerin our light mood...
Overall I would say it was fair to Johnny didnt demonise him nor canonise showed him for the human he was..frailities n all..and that may not cut much with the desi audience ...who expects the protagnist 2 b a rebel with a cause always..

Better effort than a Beautiful Mind in terms of honesty ... but again had a documentaryish feel to it...And if u do get that giddy feeling in the tummy as it me....its not the movie... but the tortillas.....feel free 2 check out the loo..its not that bad either

Friday, March 03, 2006


  • My inputs are as welcome as a butter chicken this season .
  • My abilities are as utilized as much as the Nizammudin Pedestrian Subway.
  • Company Policies are as consistent as Laxman's place in the team.
  • Dada n Chapell have better relations than myself and the client.
  • I am underpaid to the extent that the ATM spews candy when I try to withdraw my salary
  • My relatives think I work as a volunteer in a charitable organization.
  • I feel as utilized as Mallika Sherawat in a burkha .
  • I feel like a Porche which is driven only to buy vegetables from the colony mkt.
  • My chances of growth are as realistic as Anupam Kher doing a shampoo commercial.
Do I change my job ??

Thursday, March 02, 2006

History in the Making

Have you ever wondered about history ? No I don't mean that of the babe you have been eyeing for so long ..neither I want you to wonder why did you ever have to study it throught school ...My intention is to evoke a moments thought on....but what is it.....actually...??
One may define it as a chronology of events as occured in various instances of time ...
but have you ever wondered ...Is it true ? Have you ever thought ...Did that actually happen ?
...I read a beautiful line somewhere ...'that history is the winner's version of events and truths!'
And in my opinion ...this may be the real truth..
Let us consider the history of history...Writing as a system of recording information began only in 3500 B.C. using pictographs....Before that it was more or less an oral tradition .Knowdlege and wisdom used to passed down over generations using fables ,poems ,folk -songs etc which spoke of the deeds and bravery of the ancestors and kings etc .....but wait...who wrote those songs ??...Try and sing a song telling the story of the Emperor who wet his pants on hearing his elephant fart ...I don't think that bard would have a bright future anywhere...So it had to be how the Emperor slayed the mighty dragon with his bare soon on...This bard would travel to distant villages and tell the people the songs of his alleged courage....and a hero would be born...

And God spoke.....

......Your scar is legend. As of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.
Harry: Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer.
Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name... or very foolish.

Ron: They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window.
Mrs. Weasley: You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley.

Draco Malfoy: Why are you wearing glasses?
Harry: [disguised as Goyle] Uhh... Reading.
Draco Malfoy: Reading? I didn't know you could read.

Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

sounds familiar.....well for the uninitiatated ,these lines have been taken from Harry Potter...boy wizard and goldmine for the concerned stakeholders......

Now let me think ...
Did God FedEx a copy of the 10 commandmants to Moses ?
Did God issue anyone an autographed copy of the Bible ?Infact who wrote it in the first place ?
Did Amnesty International protest against crucifixation of Christ ?

yet we believe beyond grave in their story and revere them beyond life..but can anyone ever authenticate the writings.

I wonder if there is a global catastrophe and much of the planet is wiped out ...maybe after a thousand years they would excavate and find a copy of 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince '

They would translate it somehow...'hey sounds like a scripture'.and eventually conclude Harry Potter is God !

I am not questioning the truthfullness or orignality of any text ..of any religion ...They all preach wonderful messages of humanity ...but I do wonder at times...have the gods and godesses who were invented as metaphors to convey images of goodness ,purity and truth overwhelmed the true message that was to be conveyed ??
Have we forgotten the message and embraced the messenger..

The Dutch cartoon row has opened my eyes to a sad reality ..Religion.. which is suppose to guide us..has blinded us beyond relief ..

If you want to know what God thinks about all it is

"Religion is not God ...its just a road..and like all roads ,it has to be travelled on to reach your blood of your brother you so readily draw in my name of my own heart...Every drop you fell is milked through me...its my blood under your feet and on your hands...and every act of kindness plants a rose petal under your step and his...."

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Management lessons from a havan kund

Some thoughts stuck me while "Shivratri Pooja"was being performed at home.
Here they are
  • Throw the the wet wood away. It creates only smoke ( Attitude is more important than potential,bad attitude not only drains the resources but also creates a bad environment )
  • Make sure only dry wood is used ( Take people who have the ability and the attitude to accomplish )
  • Have different sizes of firewood . ( Have both experience and youth in your team )
  • Dont clutter the kund with too much wood . Gradually add as the flame picks up (Start with the most crucial and relevant people and add to the team as and when required )
  • Keep the pieces of wood slightly apart ( Give individuals their own space within a team)
  • The thinnest piece of wood catches the fire faster and should be used to propagate the flame. (The most inexperienced members of a team are the most excitable . Use them to create passion and energy ,both of which are infectious )
  • Add ghee periodically and strategically to wood closest to the flame and not the farthest away (Give Incentives for extra efforts and not as bribe to underperformers)
  • Throw thick chunks of wood in the heart of the flame.(Give responsible opportunities to high potential people )
  • Move the wood occassionaly It ensures that wood burns completely . (Appraise regularly )
  • Ensure sufficient ventilation.( Allow the team members to voice their opinions and concerns )
  • Don't put your hand in the fire unless required.(Avoid micromanagement.This only erodes the confidence of the team)
  • Fan the flame when it seems to die.(Motivate and challange people when they seem to slacken .)
The are original thoughts and not copied from anywhere. I would welcome additional observations from my readers.

Maniacal Monday -1


Monday, February 20, 2006

Hospital diary

Hospitals by no means are pleasant place.I don't think anyone apart from those who work there would be keen on visiting it (barring the expectant mother).There is this gloom in the air ,which even the five star ambience of an Apollo or even a Fortis cannot override.

For starters I would like to categorise the patients.There are those who are chronically ill seasoned campaigners for whom hospital is home away from home . And there are those who just discovered some ailment and are there for the treatment.The former would have a bored looking attendant watching the TV or giving the nth version of the patient's progress to the odd visitor,
The newbie patient would invariably be having a whole posse siting in the lobby ,with distant relatives pouring in to mark their attendance.
It is a safe assumtion that Indians need a lesson in hospital etiquette. The great Indian visit to the hospital is done with the same attitude as a trip to the airport to receive a Kukku chacha .That is loud ,boisterous and in overwhelming numbers.
We invaribaly expect that the hospital accomdate our entire battalion of a dozen odd people in the restricted hour .And why not ?? After all ,you have paid the outrageous bill the hospital charges.You have every right to treat it as your property and abuse the poor security guard for doing his duty.And when its all said and done ,curse the hospital and tell the stranger sitting next to you 'ek number ke chor hain yahan '!

It does'nt matter whether you are causing inconvenience to other patients,never mind inflicting those battered bodies with your fresh street germs.
This saddens me a great deal because even my family is guilty of the same at times.
But when I look at it and think about it,this has been a part of our socio - cultural conditioning.The hospital case is just a small example of a deeper malaise,a simple truth ,that we utterly lack any civility and sensitivity ...and it shows

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A year in the making..

Let us see....Feb 28 2006 .....One year in my present whole year of a measly salary ...indifferent bosses...god forsaken locations...rude food...of hopes and disappointments..illusions and delusions...well one whole year ...

The year came and went by... like Sourav Ganguly at the crease...Actually Ankur's blog got me thinking bout how time has flown ...Last time I saw him was in DAKC ..he was there on work and I was there for my training..Since then hez almost done with his PG and bout 2 embark on a wonderful professional journey ( with a fat pay cheque and the works :)..all the best dude)..
and I am still not able settle into my job...All in a matter of a year ...

This reminds me of Einstein's thoery of relativity ...("how a minute feels like an hour in a hot stove...and a vice versa in the presence of a lovely lady" ...'In Einstein's own words')..
Well my year wasn't most certainly in the presence of any lovely lady...but it did pass fast...

I am wondering how much can change in a year ...hmmm..well a lot ..let me see..well I do actually have something to show on my resume ...companies are trippin over each other to hire me ...ahem ..well not really ...unlike last year...I can demand my price..n what else..travelled big time...places I never thought I would see..actually wasnt even aware such places exist...sample this 'Sansiyon ka Tilla' near Barmer in Rajasthan... Bhikhi ,Bhadaur ,Ratia ,Rania....list is endless...well overall the journey has been nice..till now ...towards the end the trip is souring ...and something like whts in the picture...
till next time

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Happy new year

Happy New Year !!!

The New Year Rings in and the first thing I do is to take my resignation process forward .
I had submitted a beauty of a letter ,that was to see my graceful exit from the lousy project I am a part of ...It so happened that two days later..I submit another mail ,asking to nullify my previous request ....
Sad ..but true..How long can I stay pure at heart ,Mammon has his ways of persuasion .I started this job ,for the love of it .I accepted the embarassing salary in my stride,TOUGH LOVE the say !! Alas ,it is getting tougher for me ...Details are too painful...Sad and tormentful...I guess I have to move on ...
How long can man live on love and fresh air ??....oki ....thrz nothin like fresh air in Delhi !!
Love...more like an attachment ..And i m freed from the umbilical cord on March 2nd ....The countdown has begun ..Itz gonna get wild from here now !!